Last week was the AES Japan conference on Spatial Audio, at which I was presenting two papers on some of my PhD work. To really make the most of the networking opportunity, I finally got around to making myself some business cards and a nice snazzy website (... hello). I spent a reasonably long time deliberating whether to put the pronoun I use on it - for context, I use the gender-neutral 'they'. I have it on my Twitter, LinkedIn, every other online profile that lets you put some kind of biography in. So this wouldn’t really be any different.
I asked other people and the overwhelming response was 'yes, put it on'. So I did. I made a fairly understated, institution-agnostic business card and a logo which I'm really proud of for the cards and the website, and put my pronoun on.
Now, I'm historically very bad at networking. It terrifies me. I don't mind poster sessions as people come and talk to you, but I would rather run and hide than introduce myself or my work to someone. So the act of simultaneously giving a business card and explaining my gender identity was a little daunting. Skipping over it and just pointing out the website link sort of worked, especially when talking to a non-English-native speaker. Someone asked outright and, after I explained briefly, said that they didn't know that was a thing but didn't seem too baffled. But I did get a fair few confused looks as people put my card in their pocket.
I realised that I wasn’t actually giving people much information when I handed them a business card. In an ideal world, I shouldn’t have to introduce someone to the concept of pronouns every time I ask them to use the correct one for me. But we aren’t there yet. I realised that I was dropping people in the deep end without any way of knowing what I was talking about.
So, to make it slightly easier for myself and other people, I've added a couple of sections to my website biography. One expanding the personal info I had there to start with, and one with an explanation of why I've included it. I've heard phrases such as 'but it doesn't affect the science’ and 'I don't care’ so many times, but really, it does affect the science. If someone isn't comfortable in their environment, is worried about being denied a promotion because someone disagrees with who they are, or feels like they're on their own in their field, they aren't going to make good science. ‘It doesn’t affect the science’ removes the human at the centre of creating that science, and that just doesn’t work. Science is personal. Research is personal.
For people in minorities, knowing that allies exist is so important. I’ve put a trans and rainbow pride flag on my door. I have my pronoun in my email signature - a great thing to make queer people feel comfortable, by the way. I want to be visible as one of the few out queer staff in my department, as awkward as that can make me in situations with strangers.
I'm here, and I'm queer. And so are others.
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Some links for those interested:
Usage examples for singular they: pronoun.is/they/.../themself
Merriam Webster explains singular they: https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/singular-nonbinary-they
'The singular gender-neutral pronoun you already use', Riley J Dennis (video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ws3vtWgJEX4
Understanding Non-Binary People: How to Be Respectful and Supportive: https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-non-binary-people-how-to-be-respectful-and-supportive
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